Wisdom Tree Page 9

  “Oh.” Carin leaned in, her voice high and tight. “That’s a dangerous stretch of highway on a good day. I’m so sorry, Jake.”

  “Corey took it really hard. He was close to Mom, but even more so to Dad. I’d been out of the house for a long time, and I’ve felt the loss for sure, but not like Corey. He was just…devastated. He went through a rough time, Carin. A really rough time.”

  “But he’s coming through it…and you, too?”

  “I’m not going to sugarcoat it. Having Corey come to live with me was like having a bomb dropped in my lap. Total upheaval, loads of chaos. And the emotional trauma he’s endured, it’s been nearly insurmountable. That’s why I appreciate so much…how you’re helping him. He’s on the right path now. He’s a smart kid, and he’s got a lot of people pulling for him. He’ll figure things out.” Jake sighed. “Anyway, I’ve done some real soul searching. Why did this happen? Why has Corey had to suffer so much? But through it all, believe it or not, my faith has grown stronger. God has me where He wants me.”

  “You sound so sure. I wish I could be sure, too.” Her gaze locked with his. “You’re a very strong person, Jake.”

  “I don’t know.” He shook his head. “Some days I don’t think so, but I pray a lot and somehow manage to put one foot in front of the other. I know God has a plan, and I cling to that. Having the responsibility of raising Corey, well, it’s humbled me tremendously. I used to be what you might call a know-it-all. But now I’m convinced that all I know could fit into the barrel of one of those green pens you like so much.”

  “‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,’” Carin quoted. “You highlighted that verse in the Bible you gave me.”

  “I did, didn’t I?” He remembered the moment he’d done so as clearly as if it were today, and it gave his gut a jolt.

  “I suppose it holds some special significance for you.”

  “Yes, it does.”

  “How? Why?”

  “Because at the time I was covered in grief…drowning in it. My folks had just died, and Corey was still in the hospital recovering from his surgery. He kept asking for our mom…and for Dad. So, finally, I had to tell him what had happened.” He sighed, and in Carin’s gaze he saw the depths of his own grief. “It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

  “I can’t begin to…imagine.”

  “Patrick spent a lot of time with me at the hospital. Neither of my folks had any siblings and all my grandparents are gone, so it’s just…Corey and me.” He drew a long sip of soda and remembered how Corey had sobbed for nearly two straight days, until the exhaustion of his own grief, coupled with the help of some powerful sedatives, sent him into a deep, dreamless sleep. “I don’t know what I would have done without Patrick and Julie, too. They’ve been like a lifeline.”

  “Corey has mentioned them a lot in his journal. They seem like very caring people.”

  “Oh, that doesn’t begin to put a dent in it. Patrick carried the load at church until I got back on my feet. And Julie, well, she took Corey under her wing, got him and Dillon buddied up. Those two are mischief together, for sure, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  “And you…?” Carin’s gaze was filled with questions. “Has anyone taken you under their wing?”

  Jake thought of Rachelle and the way she’d balked at the idea of him taking custody of Corey. Her voice echoed through his head like an annoying refrain.

  You really want to sacrifice the next seven years of your life—our lives—for a kid who’s not even your own?

  He’d tried his best to reason with her, to make her understand his need to protect Corey, to nurture him. Their brother-bond was rock-solid strong, despite their age difference. But in the end, Rachelle refused to budge.

  “It’s him or me, Jake.” She’d crossed her arms and turned her back to him, her dark eyes like two cold stones, and he knew without a second thought what road he would take. “Choose carefully,” she’d added, and the chilling words coupled with a defiant tilt of her chin only served to cement Jake’s decision.

  Even now, the callous words and cold gleam that sharpened her gaze made Jake seethe. How could he have been so foolish to fall in love with someone so selfish and shallow? How could he not see? The depth of his blindness shamed him as he remembered the way she’d tossed her engagement ring onto the kitchen table, as if it held no value—no meaning—at all. The echo as it bounced over the Formica surface matched the staccato gunshot of her high heels across the polished wood floor as she stormed out the front door of his house.

  Jake trained his eyes on Carin and forced the memory away. “I lean on God,” he said. But he knew from the look in Carin’s eyes that she knew…the human side of him, the man, needed more, longed for more. The road was long and lonely and filled with detours that would be so much easier to navigate...with the help of another. He swallowed hard and prayed for a change of subject. Just then, Sulee rounded the corner. Jake leaned forward. “Look, here comes our food.”

  Sulee set the plates on the table and steam from fried rice billowed up like a cloud. “I made it extra special, just for you.” She grinned her gap-toothed smile and nodded in a short, quick burst. “Enjoy.”

  Jake drew a breath. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2 washed over him, and he felt a quiet strength restore his mood. What good would his resentment about events from the past serve now? I need to look forward, not back.

  He cleared his throat. “Do you mind if I say grace?”

  “Please…do.” Carin bowed her head as Jake reached for her hand. Her skin was warm and smooth against his callused palms, and as his fingers brushed her wrist she twitched. He felt her pulse quicken to a cadence that mirrored his.

  “Dear Lord, bless this food, and thank you for this time together. May we remember to trust in You and stay strong in You. For You, God, are the true Rock, our fortress and anchor in the many storms of life. Amen.”

  “Amen,” Carin echoed.

  He was glad the prayer didn’t seem to make her uncomfortable. Maybe giving her the Bible had helped. He knew from experience that just because someone abandoned the church, it didn’t mean their faith was abandoned, as well. Jake was reluctant to let go of the delicate fingers that had twined with his. But somehow he managed and reached for his fork. “Dig in.”

  “Mmm, it smells delicious.” Carin speared a broccoli sprig slathered in a rich, dark sauce. “How’s yours?”

  “Perfect.” Jake chewed, swallowed, and scooped another bite. “Corey usually orders the Eight Treasure Chicken, but this…it’s my staple food.”

  “When’s the next work day at church?” Carin asked, dabbing the corner of her mouth with a cloth napkin.

  “Are you thinking of dropping by to help again?” Jake drew a sip of tea.

  “Maybe.”

  “I can use a hand with the memory garden tomorrow around nine o’clock. I’m going to pressure wash the engraved memorial bricks and re-lay them more evenly. Over time they’ve sunk into the ground quite a bit, and weeds have taken over.”

  “I might be able to carve out an hour or two to help and still get all my slashing done.” Carin’s eyes smiled over the rim of her glass as she sipped tea.

  Jake laughed. “Wear something warm. Corey and Dillon will be there to help, too, and if they get ahold of the pressure washer, you’re bound to get drenched.”

  “I can hold my own, but your advice is duly noted.”

  Sulee approached the table carrying a small plate with two fortune cookies. “Time for dessert,” she said as she set the plate between Jake and Carin.

  Carin handed one cookie to Jake and took the second.

  “Wait. We have to open them at the same time,” Jake said as she began to peel away the plastic wrap.

  “What? Why?”

  “It’s tradition. Now count to three and crack yours open. One, two, three!”

  The delicate cookies snapped and slip
s of paper fluttered onto the table.

  “Read yours,” Jake urged.

  Carin picked up her slip and scanned the words. “On one side it reads, ‘The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him.’ Nahum 1:7. And the other side says, ‘God will give you the desires of your heart.’”

  “No way.” Jake studied his own fortune with disbelief. “It can’t be…”

  “Why? What does yours say?”

  “It says, ‘God will give you the desires of your heart.’” He flipped the slip over. “And—”

  “Let me see.” Carin took the paper. “‘The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him.’”

  They exchanged slips of paper to give the words a second look and sure enough, both of them had the very same fortune.

  “What are the chances?” Carin whispered.

  “I’ve been here a hundred times, and Corey and I have never, ever…”

  Sulee ambled back to the table. “You get good messages?” She leaned to peer over Jake’s shoulder.

  “They’re both exactly the same.”

  “Let me see those.” She took both slips of paper, studied them, and the gap-toothed smile traveled from her lips to her eyes. “This is a very good thing. It’s God’s plan. Good things are in store for you—both of you. You see, just wait.” Sulee waggled a finger at Jake. “It’s about time you found a nice girl to share God’s message with, Pastor Jake. Good man like you…God smiles on that. Mark my words. You’ll see.”

  ****

  “I’ll bet Scooter’s wondering where you’ve been,” Jake said as they eased up the drive to Carin’s house. “I might not be on his good side anymore, keeping you out so late.”

  “It is late.” She glanced at her delicate silver watch. “But I had a good time. Walking along the river, sitting in one of the swings and watching the stars dance over the water for a while, was…nice.”

  “Yes, it was.” Jake parked beneath a maple tree and killed the engine. Night sounds whispered around them and leaves rustled across the grass in the breeze. Moonlight cast a glow inside the truck, outlining Carin like a shadow. Jake longed to draw her close and kiss her. He cleared his throat. “I’ll walk you to the door.”

  “Yeah.” Carin gathered her purse and slipped the long, thin strap over one shoulder. “I forgot to leave a light on, so that would be next on the agenda.”

  “It would be next on the agenda, anyway.” Jake eased from the driver’s side and rounded the front of the Jeep to open the passenger door for her. “Do you think Scooter would mind if we did this again?”

  “I think Scooter would be OK with it.” Carin tugged her sweater across her shoulders to ward off the night chill. “What about Corey?”

  “I’m sure he’ll be completely and utterly mortified, but he’ll get over it—eventually.” Jake laughed as they made their way slowly up the walk. “Besides, it’s nice payback. He’s certainly put me in my own fair share of embarrassing situations.”

  “Duly documented and journaled.” Carin grinned and nodded. “OK, I’ll be your accomplice. Thank you, Jake.”

  “For what?”

  She turned to face him as they reached the door. “For such a good time.”

  “Really?”

  She dipped her head, sighing, and her gaze locked with his. “Definitely.”

  He brushed a knuckle across her cheek, felt her shiver. “Then I don’t think I can let it end…without asking you.”

  Her breath was warm on his neck. “Asking me what?”

  “If I can kiss you.” His gaze captured hers. “I think I’d lie awake all night wondering about it.”

  Her emerald eyes fluttered delicately. “And if you do kiss me?”

  “I’ll lie awake all night thinking about that, too.”

  She took his hand, twined her fingers with his. “Well, in that case…”

  He leaned into her, brushed his lips against hers, breathing in the scent of her. Her touch, a gentle caress of her palm against his cheek, ignited a flash of heat that raced up his spine.

  “Hmm…I felt something…” Carin murmured and pressed a hand to her chest. “Right here.”

  “Maybe I’d better kiss you again, so you can be sure.”

  “Maybe…”

  Jake gathered her into his arms and kissed her once more. When he finally stepped back, the stars seemed like flames ignited across the sky.

  “Anything that time?” He stroked a wave of hair from Carin’s eyes.

  “Yes…definitely.” She nodded and caught her lower lip between her teeth. “And you?”

  “Uh-huh.” He tucked a curl behind her ear and skimmed her cheek. “Now I know.”

  “Know what?”

  “That I’ll lie awake all night, for sure…thinking about this, about you.”

  “Me, too.”

  Jake took her house key and unlocked the door for her. “Can I pick you up tomorrow…to help with the memory garden?”

  “Nine o’clock, you said?”

  “Sounds about right.”

  “I’d like that. Yes.”

  “OK, then.” He waited while she turned on the living room lights, and then did a quick sweep of the room for good measure. “Good night, Carin. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  10

  “I think we’ve managed to tame the weeds,” Jake said as he tossed the last bunch of tangled roots into the trash. “Would you like to take a break before we start on the bricks?”

  “No.” Carin shook her head as she lifted one of the bricks from the dirt. “Look at them, Jake, all lopsided and muddied. It just seems…disrespectful. We have to fix them.”

  Jake was deeply touched by her concern and thought of the way Rachelle had balked at the idea of getting her hands soiled when he suggested they work together in the garden last spring. It wasn’t right to compare, he chastised himself. The past was best left in the past. Yet he couldn’t seem to help himself.

  “Oh, Jake. This one belongs to your parents.” Carin smoothed a hand over the mud-caked surface. “Ken and Susan…such proud names. They must have been wonderful people.”

  Jake’s throat tightened. “Yes, they were,” he managed.

  “You must miss them terribly.”

  “I do.”

  “Let’s begin here, OK?” Without waiting for his consent, Carin tugged the marble brick until it loosened from the ground. One by one, she lifted the row of bricks that arced in a semi-circle around the edge of the garden. She and Jake worked together, smoothing the dirt beneath and adding a layer of paving sand to level the area before carefully replacing each brick and gently washing it with a pressure-washer set on the gentlest flow.

  “We used to have a group that maintained the gardens on the church grounds,” Jake explained as he moved on to the next row of bricks. “Mrs. Staley headed it up. But when she died last fall, things sort of disintegrated. It’s embarrassing, really, that the garden fell into such disrepair.”

  “You can’t do it all, Jake.” Carin dipped a cup into the bag of paving sand and scooped up enough to level the next few bricks. She smoothed the sand over the ground, and then backed away a bit to allow Jake room to reset the row. “Your plate’s already overflowing. I like to garden. I wouldn’t mind to help. And I’ll ask Hailey to see if she can coax some of the other women into helping, too. Or maybe her Sunday school class…kids always like to help with stuff like this.”

  “Really? That would be great.”

  “Yes. I mean…if you’d like me to.”

  “Of course I’d like that.”

  “Is it too late to have a few bricks engraved and placed here among the others?”

  “For whom?”

  “For my mom. She died two years ago.” Carin hesitated, and a cloak of sadness dimmed the glow of her emerald eyes. “And…for my brother, Cameron. He died last May.”

  “Your mom and your brother?” Jake shoved the bag of paving sand aside and sat on the
sidewalk, crossing his legs. He eased her down beside him. “I had no idea. I’m so sorry, Carin. What happened?”

  “My mom had ovarian cancer. By the time the doctors found it, the tumors raged through her like wildfire. She gave it a good fight anyway, but she couldn’t…it wouldn’t…”

  Carin smoothed a hand over the row of bricks as tears filled her eyes, and Jake felt her grief as if it was his own.

  “It’s OK.” He brushed a smudge of dirt from her forehead. “Let it out, Carin. It’s not good to hold the hurt inside.”

  “So much pain…such unnecessary loss.” Carin wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her flannel shirt. “I miss her every day. I miss Cameron, too.”

  “How old was he?”

  “Just seventeen. He died…two days after he turned seventeen.”

  “We can have a brick engraved for your mom,” Jake assured her, “and for Cameron, too. Write down what you want each to say, and I’ll take care of the rest, OK?”

  Carin nodded and smiled through her tears. Wet streaks that ran down her cheeks glinted in the sunlight and left a trail through flecks of dirt that clung to her skin. “Thank you, Jake.”

  “You’re welcome.” He removed his work gloves and offered her a hand. “We’re done here, for now. Would you like to take a drive with me? I have something I want to show you.”

  “What about Corey?”

  “He’s got a guitar lesson with Julie in half an hour. He and Dillon can finish up their work in the front yard until then, and then Patrick and Julie invited Corey over for the afternoon. The boys still have some work to do on that science project.”

  “The one with the ant farm?”

  “Yeah. And apparently, one of the boys forgot to secure the cover after their last observation, so the colony relocated to Julie’s pantry and got into the dog food. The two will be starting over—after they clean up the mess.”

  “Never a dull moment with those two, right?” Carin tugged off her gloves and wiped the tears from her cheeks with the palm of her hand.

  “You said it.”